Talking Movies: Remembering Barry – Episode 3

Welcome to Talking Movies, I’m Spling. This week we embark on episode three of Remembering Barry, a heartfelt tribute to the beloved entertainment journalist and film critic Barry Ronge.

A rare privilege, I stepped into Barry’s tranquil Johannesburg home and conversed with his partner of 47 years, Albertus van Dyk, LightStrider to many.

Their starry-eyed story unfolds beautifully, a love that blossomed against their shared passion for the silver screen.

And some of the challenges, has it always been a fairly easy road?

No, it’s not. I think in South Africa, being who we are has its challenges. But I think, Stephen, we’re blessed. I’m blessed. I have a keen sense of who I am, sixth sense, indomitable me. I’d walk the other way. I don’t get involved. But you are bullied. My father was a bully. And so you learn that you may be insignificant. How can Albertus be insignificant? Well, it’s taken me a long, long time to not be insignificant.

Barry, too. Barry’s always overweight, insignificant in another way. But he learned to be powerful by using language, overcoming people who were bullies, help the bullies to do their homework and to become powerful in language. Both of us love language. I love words. I always play with words. And Barry says, you are crazy. We’d use words in different ways. We didn’t play Scrabble.

I was about to say.

We didn’t, but we played Scrabble with each other. We always found different words to play with. And I always create new words. I’m a little bit dyslexic because, yes, I didn’t have a great childhood. I’m also, I was left-handed and was bullied in school.

And my schooling started with the kind of conventional British schooling where they hit you with a ruler until you wrote with the other hand. But it’s given me a gift. So that’s another side of me that you can see something and say, oh, I can actually do this, but I can also do that. So that’s important for me because of my childhood, that you look beyond the toxic and you find something different. And that was Barry and me. There’s always options. There’s always another way of looking at the world. But step away from the toxic. Don’t get involved. It’s not your story. It’s their story.

And luckily for you guys, you found your significance in each other as well.

Exactly. Yeah. And our support. And I think, Spling, our relationship is about trust. It’s about respect. It’s about honour. It’s about dignity and love. Love for each other.

I think that really shone through in his work as well. It was a passion, but there was also love in terms of finding things to love about a film. And I know that he sometimes panned some films as well. But even in doing so, there was a love in terms of finding the right things to say in the right way.

And his gift with words is well known. But it was just such an entertainment to listen to his film reviews or read them, even if you weren’t going to necessarily see the film, just the way he was able to work with the words and the way that he was able to paint pictures and give you a real sense of the tonal qualities of the film just through the language he was using. But, you know, you both have had similar careers with a number of parallels.

How would you say you complement each other? And what are some of your biggest differences? I know you leaning toward astrology, obviously, and Barry more the movies, but, you know, I’m sure there’s some finer differences.

There are. One plans everything to death, I think, and he thinks I’m too spontaneous and irresponsible. But of course, it’s not the truth, because we are both respectful of each other. And we supported each other in love because we care for each other. And also, I think, Spling, because we were outsiders.

We knew that we would make the world better for each other if we loved each other. And we were honest in every step of the way of this long journey of 47 years.

That 47 year journey is many years and might be unfair for me to ask this question. But what’s your favorite memory or story around Barry?

It’s a difficult one because there are so many. Maybe one that you would say kind of summed him up the best. Laughter. We laughed about everything. We were quite bitchy about things, but that was our joke. And I think the best thing, because we loved movies, we enacted films and scenes from movies.

And my biggest challenge for Barry was 20 Questions. He’d say, Albertus, there you go again. “What is it?”… and I’d say, “darling, what is this?”. And give him a few questions.

And it was always about, can Barry get this in three questions? And it was a test. What annoyed Barry the most about me was we’d sit in a movie. First, the annoyance was, I’d say, darling, he looks like this. He would have been a better one in this movie. And Barry said, “oh, no, you’ve just ruined the scene”. So I then learned later on that you just keep quiet.

But that was the thing that cemented our relationship was that I could go to the cinema and we could sit together and I was emerged in the film just as much as Barry was. And that we both sat in the front was like, yes, I made my partner in life. We were always in the front of the bus together. That was such a great joy. It still is, actually, even through my grief.

Barry Ronge’s legacy shines through our collective memories. In this spirit, we seek a library or museum for his 1,700 film book collection, where his passion for movies can endure.

Together, we can ensure Barry’s love for art, film, and culture continues to light our way. Share your ideas and join us on this mission at splingmovies.com.